Tuesday, 28 August 2012

The Big Issue and a Small Beep

When I first started this blog, the grand length of time being about a month ago, I was planning on writing only when I was really, really happy. You know those times when you have to admit to yourself that things are just good now. But a little thing changed that. 

I walked up to town to put some money in to the bank, that in itself is a good feeling. I was going to buy myself a keyring for my house keys next as a treat but decided against it. (I'm that lame of a person.) Instead I paid £2 for a Big Issue, something I very rarely do. I, like most people, turn away. I don't like being reminded me of my failure to give. I do give to charity but nowhere near as much as I would like to. I think charity works in two ways: you help others and in the more selfish of reasons - you feel good about yourself. I think sometimes I focus too much on the selfish reasons. 

I'll be honest here though, putting a smile on the guy's face made me feel good about myself. I was happy to make someone else happy. Like I said, I had just put some money in the bank and it felt wrong not be generous. And more importantly than that - it does help. 

This wasn't the little thing, though. 

I went to the library - I was wandering round town, enjoying the sunshine after the rain of yesterday - and I got out two books. Lord of the Flies and The Yellow Wallpaper - two books that have long been 'To Read' List. Side note - the fact I have a 'To Read' list makes me quite happy. Especially because it involves quite a few classics and makes me feel like a more well read person. 

Anyway, there was a beep as my library card was scanned and in an instant I was back in my childhood. There's a library, well - used to be, across my house and I used to always go there and take out books. I read them in a flash. I used to take out the same books over and over again. And by hearing that little beep, I could recount my visits to the library, hearing that exact same sound. I was there again, a child, with new books and a sudden, strong rush of a love of reading. 

Long story short, I think by setting up this blog with the intention of only writing ground breaking happy moments is setting myself up for diaster. I've always said I prefer unexpected happiness rather than trying to convince yourself you are (hello certain people on social network sites with boasting updates) So by writing about the little things as well, I'll remember to appreciate them just as much. 

Oh wow, I really did not mean to end this as cheesily at that. 

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